Frau

 

It began today,

something so unflinching

that death is an unknown.

 

An invisible pull.

Rhythmic gestures to a beat that exists

only for my limbs.

 

My day goes on, watchful looks from

passers-by but their gaze barely registers.

I’m in this moment, whatever this is.

 

What starts as an unawareness

of why my body is reacting like this,

slowly moves into obsession.

 

My movements continue into the night.

The friction of my skin against my shoes

my shoes against the rough terrain beneath.

 

I ache.

If I had the energy and strength it would continue

but my body has failed me.

 

I collapse.

Exhaustion has taken over,

it wins for now.

 

I wake,

it begins again.

my reprieve from this all-encompassing dance is over.

 

The gaze from others is different now.

My eyes meet theirs.

An understanding reflected.

 

Part of me is confused as we mimic one another.

We gather in crowds,

as our bodies pulse as one.

 

A collective expression of frenzy and disorder.

Our violent gestures,

our bodies pounding.

 

Limbs thrown out,

reaching for an unseen entity

begging to end this.

 

Everything is given to this dance.

My blistered bloody bruised body.

Piss and shit flow during this God-awful prance.

 

Ecstasy filled gestures,

for my final descent

to a red soaked hearse.